


Help... I'm a baby penguin

by Dananickerson82



Series: Glee Drabbles [38]
Category: Glee
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:28:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26414908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dananickerson82/pseuds/Dananickerson82
Summary: Kurt goes to Santana to help him with his sexy problem.
Series: Glee Drabbles [38]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1912693
Kudos: 19





	Help... I'm a baby penguin

** Kurt and Santana **

“Baby penguin,” Kurt groaned. “I have as much sex appeal as a baby penguin.”

“And...” Santana prodded.

“I’m never going to get a boyfriend,” he moaned.

“You want that little Hobbit at the prep school?” she asked.

“I mean, that’d be good. We really get a long and I’m half in love with him,” Kurt admitted.

“And you came to me because...?” she asked.

“Because I’ve stooped so low as to need to ask you to teach me how to be sexy,” Kurt said grudgingly.

“Fine, I can see what I’m working with,” Santana agreed. “Honestly, you’re already better looking than last year.”

“What?”

“Well, you got taller and your face thinned out,” she said. “And now you use concealer really well.”

“Thank you,” Kurt said brightly.

“Okay, so first question, do you have to wear those fugly shapeless uniforms all the time?”

“I don’t think so,” Kurt replied. “Just school activities.”

“Does your school have a gym?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Santana said. “I know you do dance as a workout, but I’mma need you to go use the gym. After dancing with you this past year, I know what you hide under those bulky layers.”

“Oh, you know I don’t like to get sweaty around guys,” he bemoaned. “I get all blotchy.”

“Not as much lately,” she commented. “When you go, yoga pants and those gray ribbed tank tops you think I don’t know about.”

“Fine, what else?”

“I’ll give you my boxing workout. It tells you what moves to do, and I spliced it together with some instrumental tracks with good beats,” she explained. “I’m sure word will get around that you’re there or you could drop hints.”

“Well that’s fairly indirect,” Kurt shrugged.

“That’s step one. You know how to tailor clothes, make your pants show off your ass,” she said. “You got real nice arms too, so short sleeved shirts if you can.”

“Okay, what about my face?”

“Don’t try as hard as you do,” she said. “And I have an idea. Which dude would you feel comfortable with?”

“Um, probably Mike or Puck,” he said honestly.

“Alright, Puck owes me a favor.”

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

“Okay, so explain this to me again,” Puck insisted. He was standing in Santana’s bedroom, dressed in tight jeans and an even tighter t-shirt. He was also blindfolded.

“I got someone who needs a sexy lesson,” Santana repeated. “You owe me, so I figured you could stand here and be touched on. The blindfold is so neither one of you gets embarrassed.”

“Fine,” he grumbled.

Kurt was instructed to stay quiet and Santana would guide him. She said he needed to be more comfortable with the male form. What Santana didn’t realize was that Kurt was now about the same height as Puck, and now that she saw them together, she thought they looked really hot next to each other. Kurt started at Puck’s head, running his hands through the Mohawk. His face was curious, but seemed to enjoy the feeling of Puck’s hair.

“You so need to grow your hair out,” Santana groused good-naturedly.

“My hawk is awesome.”

“But your hair is like the perfect texture, and you’re depriving the world of that feeling,” she teased. Kurt nodded his head in agreement.

“Maybe,” he grumbled. The person feeling him over smelled real good. He could almost place the smell, like it had been around him before. Kurt gently scraped his well-manicured nails across the shaved scalp, bringing a groan from Puck. Kurt had this intrigued look on his face. He began to slowly circle Puck, running hands across the breadth of his shoulders, from the shoulders Kurt explored his muscular back, all the way down to where his pants sat. With a move that Jennifer Gray would be proud of, Kurt circled around Puck and ran a hand over one cheek. Santana was internally cheering at Kurt’s boldness. She had given him a few tips when it came to Puck – a sure hand was one of those tips.

Kurt began at the top, just above his pecs and caressed his way down to the abs Kurt was sure he had. While Puck wasn’t cut like Sam, Puck was a dream of flesh and muscle. “I wish you could see you two,” Santana said huskily. “Hot like fire.”

“Am I ever going to be able to take this blindfold off?” Puck asked, his voice a bit deeper than normal.

“Maybe,” Santana said. “Honey, would you like to kiss him? Make it better than your last time?” Kurt’s eyes went wide.

‘He doesn’t like boys,’ Kurt mouthed frantically.

“Puck won’t mind Honey, I promise,” she said, nodding emphatically.

“Baby, I’m so awesome, it doesn’t matter what you look like,” Puck said. “I’m down with kissing whoever.” Kurt took a deep breath and slide his hands up Puck’s chest and put one firmly behind Pucks neck and one on his cheek. Kurt remembered Santana’s 90:10 rule and leaned in so he could feel Puck’s breath on his nose. This apparently got to Puck, who gripped Kurt’s hips and pulled him the scant inches between them and pressed his lips to Kurt’s.

Kurt very nearly froze, but realized that Santana wouldn’t let Puck hurt him – so he went for broke. He moved his lips against Puck’s. Puck in turn, sucked on Kurt’s lower lip. This made Kurt gasp, allowing Puck to slip his tongue in. This kiss was already miles better than the one Karofsky stole from him. Kurt tilted his head and kissed back, mirroring what Puck did.

“Mmm,” Kurt groaned as Puck slipped his hands down to squeeze his butt. Santana circled the duo and carefully untied the blindfold. Puck continued to kiss Kurt a few more moments before breaking it and pulling back, eyes still shut.

“Great ass and good kisser, strong hands,” Puck said. She had asked him for feedback.

“You can look,” she murmured, a gentle hand on his back.

“Okay,” Puck breathed. He opened his eyes and blinked a few times. His eyes met Kurt’s and he let out a sigh. “God Tana, I thought you were gonna let some dog rub on me. You should have told me it was Princess.”

“You’re not mad?” Kurt asked.

“Nah, I stand by my assessment,” Puck shrugged. “And I already said it doesn’t matter who I kiss. I’m a bad ass.” He proved his point by leaning in to kiss Kurt again.

“Hot like fire,” Santana said.

“Mmm, wow,” Kurt said.

“Hang on, idea,” Santana said. She ran off to get some hair mouse. Kurt had on simple blue jeans and a black v-neck t-shirt – said he had to go work at the garage after this. She returned with the mouse and began to work some in his hair. It was high swept but intentionally messy.

“Oh yeah,” Puck agreed. “You trying to get that Hobbit dude?”

“Not a Hobbit, but yeah, I’m interested,” Kurt said.

“If you see him today, I’m pretty sure he’d jump you,” Puck said.

“Really?”

“And if he doesn’t,” Puck said. “Give me a call.”


End file.
